Harry Died

Entry 80

On February 24th, 2023, Harry passed away at his home in the very early hours of the morning, surrounded by his family, in the 13th year following his prostate cancer diagnosis. Thankfully, Harry was not in pain during his final days, as he had been receiving palliative care for four weeks.

Photo taken at Dunnotar Castle in Scotland in 2019

Obituary - stimson-harry

The following was written by friend Ted Muir:

As we age and come to realize that our days ahead are dwindling in number, we are thankful for the people who have touched our lives and come to be best of friends. We share like values and interests, and we cherish moments together just for the sheer joy and pleasure of being in each other’s company. Harry Stimson was one of those people who I valued as a friend as did many others. 

Looking back, we were lucky to grow up in a time of unprecedented environmental awareness and a new found eagerness to take to the outdoors. As a volunteer with the Manitoba Naturalist Society, Harry advocated for the establishment of new parks on the east side of Lake Winnipeg and was always lobbying for the development of more outdoor recreational attractions in our parks. He also played a major role- as joint owner of The Happy Outdoorsman - in introducing people to recreational pursuits outdoors. The HO was all about the use of non mechanical means of exploring and enjoying the natural world- while maintaining a healthy lifestyle at the same time. Many of us have forgotten that the HO was the place to go to get advice and purchase equipment - be it for camping, cross country skiing, hiking or canoeing. Harry and Margaret walked the talk in the realm of canoeing - spending a chunk of their free time behind a paddle in Canadian shield country. A deep love and admiration for wild things in wild places shaped their lives, along with son Tom, and engendered many wonderful relationships. 

Harry and I were barely acquaintances during our volunteering stints with the Manitoba Naturalist Society and it was not until much later around 2014 that our paths crossed at a weekend retreat organized by Bob Williams to celebrate the life of our mutual friend Robert Taylor. Now in its eleventh year the weekend retreat “The Meeting of the Minds” forged many solid friendships many of which were nurtured by auxillary walks through parks, visits to art exhibits and coffee bars along with skating outings. These were great times with much resolve to make the world a better place. 

At my first retreat I recall praising Harry on his youthful appearance, joking about the meds he must be on. Unbeknownst to me at that moment he was in the early stages of managing life as a prostate cancer survivor - a disease that would eventually take his life. As chance would have, I followed the same path a few years later and found Harry’s support in dealing with the disease to be comforting and helpful. He assisted many others in a similar position often noting that the act of just listening to men talk through their feelings was useful. Equally notable he documented his experiences in detail on a blog that received thousands of hits - unequivocally helping patients and loved ones around the world get through some difficult times. He and friend Patrick Treacy, also a survivor, offered valuable input during the production of a leaflet from The Manitoba ProstatevCancer Support Group.

The Harry I know was a quiet, intellectual, thoughtful man who had a balanced and embracing outlook on life. He had deep convictions about human justice and equality. He was an enlightened and caring individual who set a high bar with his chums when discussing worldly matters. He valued friendship and took the time to keep folks with multifaceted interests - some artistic- in nurturing relationships. He was the glue that kept us together. He was very much a family man and deeply loved Margaret and son Tom and the grandchildren. He made sure his friends knew that matters pertaining to his health were tackled and done as a family. This held up right to the end.

Once Harry entered palliative care we knew the end was near, but his death still hit us hard. We all wanted a few more years of Harry in our lives and could not fathom life without him. Toward the end we took comfort in expressing how much he was admired and loved by all who knew him. We also feel blessed to have had him in our lives and left with so many wonderful memories. I know the feeling was mutual. 

Rest in peace my friend.

The Results are In

Entry 79
January 23 

Sharing our letter to family and friends 

Greetings,

For some of you this will be the first time hearing from me directly and I would like to say that we are appreciative of your interest and care as we've moved through the various stages of my Dad's diagnosis. If you are receiving this email, it's important for you to know this is a message of information and appreciation. 

This past week our family met with Oncologist, Dr. Joel Gingrich, our beloved friend and retired doctor Dr. Graham Fuchs and, dear family friend and Radiologist, Dr. Jeff Mottola all whom have played key roles in navigating our care plan (with the two latter being exceptional beyond measure). 

We have moved into a new phase in our journey, one which has presented us with some difficult choices. As you were probably already aware, the cancer that began in the prostate has traveled, most notably, to the surface area of the bones. Up until this week, we were under the impression this was the extent of that spread. This week's revelation was that the cancer appears to have entered the liver in a manner consistent with aggressive disease. At this point, we have discussed our options as a family, cautiously weighing both the positives and negatives of further treatment as well as the option to pursue palliative care at home. Our family has had no shortage of difficult conversations over the last year and so our mantra has and always will be, we do this together. This has given us lots of strength to draw on and has led us to find comfort and peace in the decision to move forward with palliative care at home.

It is important for you to know that my Dad LOVES to hear from you. This is a time where reaching out is valued and appreciated. Rest has been prioritized so the phone may not get picked up for days at a time but, know that any communication, email and text included, provide a great deal of comfort and strength as we go forward. My Mom or I may be the ones to respond and that will likely vary with how my Dad is feeling on any given day. We talk often about how much my Dad appreciates your friendship and concern and I know he'll look forward to having more personal communication In the coming days. You have made a difference in our lives.

I know this may come as a shock to some, we were certainly in that boat and likely still are. In sending this email I hope to mitigate some of the effort required in having my Dad find the right words. There are still many things to be grateful for and laughs to be had (you may wish to ask him about our family phone call to the bank, where he was treated like a Somali pirate), so don't let him off the hook. He'd have it no other way.

With great regard and lots of love,

Tom

Harry can be contacted by email : harry.stimson at gmail.com

Chemo Completed but....

Entry 78

January 3, 2023

It really began to unravel on Christmas Day.  I woke up feeling quite sick. I tried to get out of bed to stand up but my left hip/leg would not support my weight and I fell. Fortunately I was facing the bed so no injury. Within 24 hours, on Boxing Day, I was unable to walk unassisted even to get to the bathroom. A wheelchair was pretty much the only option outside of the house.

What to do? It was Christmas and everything closed including Cancer Care.

On Thursday the 29th of December,  we finally got through to CancerCare - Urgent Care. They took me right away. I went through an all-day battery of tests including an X-ray. A lesion on the femur was deemed worrisome and required a CT Scan on Friday, the 30th, to determine the direction for a round of radiation on Monday, January 2. Yikes! 

In quick succession the following happened on Tuesday, January 3:

An ‘extensive’ CT Scan followed by ‘full’ Bone Scan, (their quotation marks not mine)followed by Zolmeta (bone strengthening) IV and finally blood test. So you know when they are talking that kind of hammering in a day and a half you know they are looking for something significant. The interview with the HSC Radiologist last Friday suggested as much.  

We won’t know results probably until mid next week after all scans and tests analyzed. 

Also, we will not know if I will begin to feel better.  The radiation is specific to the femur and pelvis, primarily to reduce pain. 

 

That’s where it currently sits. The radiation has helped my ability to shuffle around the house but anything other than that would require a wheelchair.

We have just passed the 12th year anniversary since my prostatectomy.