Harry Died

Entry 80

On February 24th, 2023, Harry passed away at his home in the very early hours of the morning, surrounded by his family, in the 13th year following his prostate cancer diagnosis. Thankfully, Harry was not in pain during his final days, as he had been receiving palliative care for four weeks.

Photo taken at Dunnotar Castle in Scotland in 2019

Obituary - stimson-harry

The following was written by friend Ted Muir:

As we age and come to realize that our days ahead are dwindling in number, we are thankful for the people who have touched our lives and come to be best of friends. We share like values and interests, and we cherish moments together just for the sheer joy and pleasure of being in each other’s company. Harry Stimson was one of those people who I valued as a friend as did many others. 

Looking back, we were lucky to grow up in a time of unprecedented environmental awareness and a new found eagerness to take to the outdoors. As a volunteer with the Manitoba Naturalist Society, Harry advocated for the establishment of new parks on the east side of Lake Winnipeg and was always lobbying for the development of more outdoor recreational attractions in our parks. He also played a major role- as joint owner of The Happy Outdoorsman - in introducing people to recreational pursuits outdoors. The HO was all about the use of non mechanical means of exploring and enjoying the natural world- while maintaining a healthy lifestyle at the same time. Many of us have forgotten that the HO was the place to go to get advice and purchase equipment - be it for camping, cross country skiing, hiking or canoeing. Harry and Margaret walked the talk in the realm of canoeing - spending a chunk of their free time behind a paddle in Canadian shield country. A deep love and admiration for wild things in wild places shaped their lives, along with son Tom, and engendered many wonderful relationships. 

Harry and I were barely acquaintances during our volunteering stints with the Manitoba Naturalist Society and it was not until much later around 2014 that our paths crossed at a weekend retreat organized by Bob Williams to celebrate the life of our mutual friend Robert Taylor. Now in its eleventh year the weekend retreat “The Meeting of the Minds” forged many solid friendships many of which were nurtured by auxillary walks through parks, visits to art exhibits and coffee bars along with skating outings. These were great times with much resolve to make the world a better place. 

At my first retreat I recall praising Harry on his youthful appearance, joking about the meds he must be on. Unbeknownst to me at that moment he was in the early stages of managing life as a prostate cancer survivor - a disease that would eventually take his life. As chance would have, I followed the same path a few years later and found Harry’s support in dealing with the disease to be comforting and helpful. He assisted many others in a similar position often noting that the act of just listening to men talk through their feelings was useful. Equally notable he documented his experiences in detail on a blog that received thousands of hits - unequivocally helping patients and loved ones around the world get through some difficult times. He and friend Patrick Treacy, also a survivor, offered valuable input during the production of a leaflet from The Manitoba ProstatevCancer Support Group.

The Harry I know was a quiet, intellectual, thoughtful man who had a balanced and embracing outlook on life. He had deep convictions about human justice and equality. He was an enlightened and caring individual who set a high bar with his chums when discussing worldly matters. He valued friendship and took the time to keep folks with multifaceted interests - some artistic- in nurturing relationships. He was the glue that kept us together. He was very much a family man and deeply loved Margaret and son Tom and the grandchildren. He made sure his friends knew that matters pertaining to his health were tackled and done as a family. This held up right to the end.

Once Harry entered palliative care we knew the end was near, but his death still hit us hard. We all wanted a few more years of Harry in our lives and could not fathom life without him. Toward the end we took comfort in expressing how much he was admired and loved by all who knew him. We also feel blessed to have had him in our lives and left with so many wonderful memories. I know the feeling was mutual. 

Rest in peace my friend.

The Results are In

Entry 79
January 23 

Sharing our letter to family and friends 

Greetings,

For some of you this will be the first time hearing from me directly and I would like to say that we are appreciative of your interest and care as we've moved through the various stages of my Dad's diagnosis. If you are receiving this email, it's important for you to know this is a message of information and appreciation. 

This past week our family met with Oncologist, Dr. Joel Gingrich, our beloved friend and retired doctor Dr. Graham Fuchs and, dear family friend and Radiologist, Dr. Jeff Mottola all whom have played key roles in navigating our care plan (with the two latter being exceptional beyond measure). 

We have moved into a new phase in our journey, one which has presented us with some difficult choices. As you were probably already aware, the cancer that began in the prostate has traveled, most notably, to the surface area of the bones. Up until this week, we were under the impression this was the extent of that spread. This week's revelation was that the cancer appears to have entered the liver in a manner consistent with aggressive disease. At this point, we have discussed our options as a family, cautiously weighing both the positives and negatives of further treatment as well as the option to pursue palliative care at home. Our family has had no shortage of difficult conversations over the last year and so our mantra has and always will be, we do this together. This has given us lots of strength to draw on and has led us to find comfort and peace in the decision to move forward with palliative care at home.

It is important for you to know that my Dad LOVES to hear from you. This is a time where reaching out is valued and appreciated. Rest has been prioritized so the phone may not get picked up for days at a time but, know that any communication, email and text included, provide a great deal of comfort and strength as we go forward. My Mom or I may be the ones to respond and that will likely vary with how my Dad is feeling on any given day. We talk often about how much my Dad appreciates your friendship and concern and I know he'll look forward to having more personal communication In the coming days. You have made a difference in our lives.

I know this may come as a shock to some, we were certainly in that boat and likely still are. In sending this email I hope to mitigate some of the effort required in having my Dad find the right words. There are still many things to be grateful for and laughs to be had (you may wish to ask him about our family phone call to the bank, where he was treated like a Somali pirate), so don't let him off the hook. He'd have it no other way.

With great regard and lots of love,

Tom

Harry can be contacted by email : harry.stimson at gmail.com

Chemo Completed but....

Entry 78

January 3, 2023

It really began to unravel on Christmas Day.  I woke up feeling quite sick. I tried to get out of bed to stand up but my left hip/leg would not support my weight and I fell. Fortunately I was facing the bed so no injury. Within 24 hours, on Boxing Day, I was unable to walk unassisted even to get to the bathroom. A wheelchair was pretty much the only option outside of the house.

What to do? It was Christmas and everything closed including Cancer Care.

On Thursday the 29th of December,  we finally got through to CancerCare - Urgent Care. They took me right away. I went through an all-day battery of tests including an X-ray. A lesion on the femur was deemed worrisome and required a CT Scan on Friday, the 30th, to determine the direction for a round of radiation on Monday, January 2. Yikes! 

In quick succession the following happened on Tuesday, January 3:

An ‘extensive’ CT Scan followed by ‘full’ Bone Scan, (their quotation marks not mine)followed by Zolmeta (bone strengthening) IV and finally blood test. So you know when they are talking that kind of hammering in a day and a half you know they are looking for something significant. The interview with the HSC Radiologist last Friday suggested as much.  

We won’t know results probably until mid next week after all scans and tests analyzed. 

Also, we will not know if I will begin to feel better.  The radiation is specific to the femur and pelvis, primarily to reduce pain. 

 

That’s where it currently sits. The radiation has helped my ability to shuffle around the house but anything other than that would require a wheelchair.

We have just passed the 12th year anniversary since my prostatectomy.

Reached the Chemo Halfway Mark

Entry 77 

Good morning everyone.

I’m currently in the 5th chemotherapy treatment at Grace Hospital. We are at the halfway mark for the 10 treatments over 30 weeks. 

The clinic is not busy this morning. I was in and hooked up to IV quickly. I barely got into my stand up comedy routine for the other victims in the waiting room. I thought I heard an audible sigh of relief when my name was called and I was ushered out to the chemo chairs. Something about don’t quit your day job. So it sounds as if someone thinks I still look young enough to work. That’s surprising to me because I’m down >15 lbs and my skin is all wrinkled. Looks like I could use a good ironing. 

Chemotherapy takes about 2 hours and as usual the staff are professional and courteous. I feel fine and happily there is no pain in my left leg and hip. 

Through persistent experimenting I have the morphine down to 2 doses, one for the day and one for the night. It’s a very low dosage but nevertheless it’s an opioid. One of the knock-on side effects of a potent pain killer is constipation. I have learned to use Senokot-S in tandem with the morphine and have worked out a compatible combination. Feeling a lot better. 

My Oncologist was away this week so I had a telephone appointment with his Nurse Practitioner. That’s the first time I have spoken with one. We were very impressed. Tamara helped us work out a new plan to deal with the issues I was having that knocked me for a loop in the previous treatment. Hopefully it will add to the tool kit to get around the next tough stretch. The only way out is through. 

Finally and once again my sincerest thanks to Margaret and Tom for their non stop help. I simply can’t imagine what it would be like to try to navigate this if a person were on their own. I hope this does not sound like whining. It’s not and I’m sure it’s no different than anyone who has experienced chemotherapy. It’s a very humbling experience. 

I sold my Chestnut Cruiser wood canvas canoe last week. I was surprised by the amount of interest it generated. It gave me the option to pick and choose the buyer. Paramount was that it had a good home. Shed a few tears. I had some outstanding solo trips (some as long as 2 weeks) and I just loved the way it handled. It just got too heavy for me to carry as I aged. Closed another chapter.

Written from a Chemotherapy Clinic

Entry 76

I am currently at the Grace Hospital receiving my second chemotherapy treatment with 8 more to go between now and mid September (every 3 weeks), so it’s too early to pass judgement on the success of this treatment one way or the other. 

I had my third app’t with my Oncologist Dr. Joel Gingerich and the news was not great. Scans revealed “some new spots” with migration of cancer into the back and ribs. I hasten to add that while disappointing this is not unexpected. That’s just the way cancer in the bones works. 

On the plus side, there was nothing out of the ordinary in the bloodwork. The PSA number went up but not markedly, otherwise the bloodwork looked good. Additionally I was able to answer all of his other non blood related medical questions positively. 

Perhaps I whined a bit too much about the chemo side effects of fatigue, joint achiness, tingly tongue, and reduced sense of taste. Dr Gingerich offered the option of reducing the docetaxel chemotherapy dosage to lessen the side effects but after discussion we opted to stay the course.

Hair loss has been another side effect. It helps to have a lint roller nearby.

As usual we thought of questions we should have asked after we hung up. It involves timing. 

When Margaret and I were looking back on her notes from the appointment (she was on the phone call) we remembered the bone scan at the Victoria Hospital was only 2 days after the first chemotherapy treatment. So I guess another question is would the first chemotherapy treatment have had any chance to impact the results of the bone scan? 

The bone scan results are irrefutable - no question there. The question I have is can those results be tempered with the 3 weeks the second dose will have to work on the bone metastases? We will see.

As a brief aside it’s important to point out that the first appointment with Dr Gingerich was in person, but the appointments 2 and 3 were over the phone. I expect this to continue. It is a policy of Cancer Care Manitoba in order to reduce the risk to immune compromised patients in a time of Covid. While this can be tough I completely agree. 

As it turns out, it is very valuable for us. It permits Margaret to be part of the conversation on speaker phone. She takes detailed notes of the conversation allowing us to revisit them at a later date of our convenience. As a good friend who has been through it advised us, ‘You simply cannot remember it all’. 

Just finished the 2 hour chemotherapy treatment at the Grace. The dexamethasone anti nausea drug has removed that side effect for which I am very grateful. As in the first chemo treatment, the staff were professional and courteous. 

I am feeling fine and could readily have driven myself home, but Margaret is on her way to pick me up, one of the perks of being a trophy husband.

                           ————————————————-

Sorry for this being a bit of a downer first thing in the morning but the chemo side effects will announce themselves in the next ~48 hours and the energy level will probably drop.

 

Day 1 of Chemotherapy

Entry 75

Starting the thirty week regimen of chemotherapy

Giddyup !

Entry 74

This is a note to let you know there has been a change in the current status of my prostate cancer. 

The PC has upped its game and the challenge now is to adjust my treatment regimen to address  it. As a result, my Urologist for the past 11 years, Dr Jeff Saranchuk has handed me over to the Medical Oncology department at Health Sciences Centre in Winnipeg to develop a new course of action.

That has happened and I am now totally in the care of Dr. Joel Gingerich. Margaret and I had >1 hour consultation with him which went very well and left us totally impressed. My other health care workers speak very highly of him and reference how smart, caring and professional he is. I think I am in good hands for the next 40 miles. 

I have been up to my ass in tests to confirm the treatment regimen Dr. Gingerich described to us. Two tests this week with a bunch more to come including redoing the CT and Bone Scans to see if the PC has made further incursions. At this point the lesions on the pelvis remain sclerotic and not lytic - the lesser of two evils.

At this point I am experiencing no pain and feel fine. 

My PSA went down yet again. Dr. Gingerich cautioned me not to get excited about the drop because it was likely caused by the December radiation treatment on my hip.  The unexpected decrease was fortunate in that it will give us time to plot the treatment schedule instead of rushing it.

That treatment will include chemotherapy- docotaxel. Not surprising.  Every 3 weeks for 30 weeks. Depending on when it starts that will last into mid to late summer. Clearly travel is not an option for me.

I’m also registered for a clinical trial and did the tests for it yesterday. Interestingly they take blood samples as well as tissue samples from your prostate gland. What? But I no longer have a prostate gland! He reminded me that I had agreed to put my prostate gland in a tumour bank at Health Sciences Centre after it was removed 11 years ago - research purposes. Completely forgot.

I am wait listed for the clinical trial of Radium 223 and probably won’t get in, but now that I am registered and tested, all my DNA information is on file for future immunotherapy treatment. Assuming I need it.

Additionally, last week I underwent a bone building/strengthening process that is administered by IV drip over 30 minutes every three months (for the foreseeable future). It will help mitigate the bone loss due to the cancer. The drug is called Zoledronic Acid or trade name Zometa.

That’s about as much as I know at this point. None of it is overly surprising to me. We knew the cancer was making its break for freedom and now we know it has been successful. We will see if medical science can slow it down. 

My new mantra comes courtesy of the poet Robert Frost when he said, " The only way out is through".   Giddyup!